3 Ways to Attract the Love You Want By Opening the Heartspace

In Love

Are you seeking a loving relationship to bring authentic joy to your life? Are you tired of poor relationship choices? Do you want to take control of who you’re attracting?


When our hearts become clouded with the complex circumstances of life, our romantic lives often suffer. Even psychotherapists, like myself, are human and need strategies to navigate our romantic lives! The good news is that we possess the power to create compassionate, loving relationships with ourselves, ergo fostering fertile ground to grow abundant love in our lives.

Imagine the bright, radiating sun on a stormy day. Although grey and ominous clouds blanket the sky, the sun continues to reside behind the clouds, emanating with warmth. Imagine your heart as the radiant sun and the clouds as depression, anxiety, stress, insecurity and self-destructive thoughts. When our hearts are clouded, and our inner light feels dim, it becomes difficult to attract the relationships that satisfy our innate need for love, connection and belonging.

How do we harness our inner power to attract the authentic love we’re seeking? It starts with you. Below I’ve mapped out 3 Strategies for Opening the Heartspace to Attract the Love You Want:

 1. Learn to Exude Your Prana

First of all, what is Prana? Literally, prana is the Sanskrit word for “Life Force.” Prana is the energy of the universe that we’re all connected to through breath. The way in which you breathe is a powerful metaphor for the way in which you walk through the world. In times of anxiety or stress, are you restricting your breath as if you don’t deserve the fullness of each breath cycle?

When we restrict the breath, we dim our inner spirit. Inviting and embodying the fullness of breath enlarges the spirit, helping us reconnect with the light of our heartspace. Yogic methods enrich our prana. When we learn to exude our unique Prana, we begin to attract those seeking that energetic, loving prana energy. Working with a skilled yoga therapist can help you access that inner energy through various Pranayama exercises including Ujjayi (ocean breath), alternate nostril breathing or Kapalabhati breathing (skull-shining breath). When we radiate love through prana, we see that very love reflected back to us in our relationships.

2. Make Compassion a Daily Practice

Compassion is an emotion characterized by the sense of shared suffering in the world. We see compassion through acts of empathy, kindness and acceptance. Our hearts are fertile ground to plant seeds of compassion that we can nurture every day. For starters, begin each morning with a simple ritual. The Dalai Lama suggests meditating on this passage:

Today I am fortunate to have woken up, I am alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it. I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others, to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings, I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others, I am going to benefit others as much as I can.

When we practice compassion towards self, the world shines compassion back at us. Remember, others are on a path just like ours.

3. Build a Relationship With Your Barriers

It’s been established that attracting the love you want begins with you. In order to create the space for authentic love in your life, it’s imperative that you learn about your blind spots. Do you react with aggressive contempt when you perceive that your partner is blaming you for something? Be curious about your patterns of emotional reaction, communication and ways of connecting (or disconnecting). Acknowledge that part of being human means having blind spots and approach your heart with kindness when exploring your patterns of being in the world (cue your compassion practice). Cultivating awareness of maladaptive patterns creates freedom from the shackles of our destructive default modes of interacting. Psychotherapy, meditating, journaling, introspection and talking with loved ones all support the heart opening and healing process.

It’s important to approach this process with acceptance – we’re exactly where we should be on our journey’s path at any given moment. With our thoughts, inner spirits and intentions, we create the world. Unearth your inner prana, compassion and self-awareness to clear space for the love your spirit desires.

For more on finding love and creating a balanced life, I invite you to follow me on Twitter (@Mindful_Healer) and subscribe to my blog.

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